Finally properly single

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I don’t want to keep bloody banging on about it, because it’s shit and boring and I want to move on, but a few months ago I went through one of those life altering, perspective shifting break ups. (I’ve written about it already here and here.)

The problem is, I can’t seem to get over it, and it’s starting to annoy me. Over the last few weeks, I seem to have gone backwards on the ‘getting over it’ scale. It’s partly because I started seeing someone new (which, it turns out, I am absolutely not ready for, and it has consequently ended) and partly because I’m missing a big goal and some focus, so my thoughts are drifting off elsewhere. Unfortunately that place is back into the past.

To start with I thought I might rectify the problem with the obvious. The first few months after my break up were so (relatively) bearable as I let myself be completely and totally consumed with training for the Paris marathon. Maybe that’s what I need to do again, I thought. I’ll sign up for an autumn marathon. But as much as I would love to go back to Berlin in September, I don’t think repetition is the way forward.

I’ve already decided on a rather large and scary nutrition goal, which I’ll share more on next week. But for now, I’m feeling a little bit lost when it comes to my fitness life. I’m running WOTN in Amsterdam next weekend which I’m really looking forward to, but I have already decided not to run Run Hackney two weeks later. I am just not feeling in the right frame of mind to train for and run a half marathon. In fact, I haven’t run in two weeks. Two weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it’s probably been a good six or seven months since I’ve gone that long. I was loving running at the beginning of May, but then my knee decided to get angry with me and I haven’t run since.

So I’m properly on a break from boys and now running has decided we need some time off too. I don’t have a race in the calendar until September and the last of my four planned European run adventures will soon be here and gone. Now what the heck do I do?!

4 Comments

  1. June 1, 2014 / 1:00 am

    i don’t really know much about the situation and i haven’t been following your blog for too long, but your situation is pretty familiar to me so i thought i would leave a comment. i think that slowing it down and taking a break from boys and running (even if it wasn’t really your own choice) for a bit could be beneficial. try to think of it as a much needed rest and a time to rejuvenate and refresh. don’t feel guilty about not running. sometimes ya just need to watch chick flicks and let yourself eat bad food and sleep in. (that’s what i tend to do when i am resting, anyway.) don’t do this long enough to make it the norm or a habit, but be kind to yourself and rest well. i think that it’s a very important part of moving on. i hope this helped or at least gave you something to think about. sending you positive vibes. keep your chin up!

    • June 5, 2014 / 7:42 am

      Thank you! Definitely think you’re right & a little break is a good idea. Time to just chill me thinks x

  2. June 2, 2014 / 8:40 pm

    Oh, girl. I can’t tell you what to do, nobody can. But I will say that I once went through a horrible break-up that took me a long time to get over properly. I decided to move away from home (big mistake) and turned into a huge party girl (bigger mistake) and it was nearly two years later that I finally realised I knew who I was and I was back to me again.

    With that little horror story said, don’t try to force anything: it’s good to have a focus outside of your normal life, like a marathon, don’t let it consume your life. Just be aware of how you are feeling, and understand you are entitled to feel however you are feeling. There is no timescale for getting over a break-up and it’s certainly not linear. Just be kind to yourself and eventually you will realise one day you are over it, and by the time you actually realise you will have been over it a while..!
    Much love.
    X

    • June 5, 2014 / 7:41 am

      Thanks so much for your lovely comment. I know I’ll get there eventually, I’d just like it to be sooner! x

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